Tonight sees UK political history made on bloody ITV! Yes, David Cameron, Gordon Brown and that other chap are going head to head on live television to win over the "floating voters" among us in the first ever televised Prime Ministerial debate in UK political history. Early reports suggest Gordon Brown is already taking too long making his points, blabbering on and on about nothing and missing the point slightly.
Cameron was just having a cup of tea and chatting to the good looking ladies. And the other fella - I think he's still on the bus at the moment. On his way there, like. Not that any of it matters, however, because the way things are going the world will be a burning ball of ash and bones by the time the election comes around. Today saw all UK air traffic grounded due to a dangerous cloud of ash and smoke spewing out of a volcano in Iceland. A billow of tiny particles of glass and steam has been carried on the winds and blown into our airspace.
I give the whole world another two years (hey, maybe the Mayans were right after all!) before the planets core freezes and the crust of the Earth splinters into nothing. Earthquakes, volcanoes and tsunamis are the way we're leaving this rock ladies and gents. Shame really, I was looking forward to a zombie takeover. Ah well, the Tories may win the election - that's the same, right?
Remember. The Debate. Tonight, ITV1 at 8.30pm. That's if the Death Cloud doesn't mess up the Satellite signal first.